Annie’s Mailbox on Families Caring for Parents
Annie’s Mailbox on Families Caring for Parents
Caregiver deserves a break (Annie’s Mailbox)
Dear Annie: I am 63, and I help daily with my 94-year-old mother, who lives by herself. I run errands, and I keep her yard nice. I have a brother and sister who live out of state. They come back to visit from time to time. When they do visit, they expect me to entertain them. I feel that because they are staying with her, it is my time to take a break. They don’t seem to realize the pressures I go through every day, when I wonder whether she will answer the door or I will find her on the floor. Am I being unreasonable to be able to “escape” mentally and physically for a couple of days whenever it is convenient for them to “escape” their out-of-state lives and visit?
–Needing a break in Pensacola
Dear Needing a Break: It is absolutely reasonable – and smart – that you want some time alone and away from the stresses of caretaking. To properly take care of anyone, you first need to take care of yourself. Look into hiring some professional help. Many insurances, including Medicare and Medicaid, include some form of hospice coverage. Visit http://hospicefoundation.org. As for your siblings, how they want to treat our mother is their choice.
Don’t let this become your family legacy, children squabbling over who needs to be caring for mom or dad. Your children may need to work for income at the time you need someone’s help with day to day activities.
That is why Long-Term Care insurance is so necessary, and must be purchased while you are healthy enough to get it. Why be a burden on your family when you can afford to hire the in-home or facility care you want and need when your health changes.
Long-Term Care insurance is not scary or expensive – when it is chosen appropriately. We have over 24 years experience guiding families into the best fitting coverage, this is not an also have product for us, it’s all we do. Investigate with experts, call TheLongTermCareGuy.com at (920) 884-3030 to schedule a time to investigate together.
My mother is 87 years old and lives with us. She has some very disturbing habits. I am hoping you can help me understand them. She will only bathe once a week, she doesn’t flush the toilet or wash her hands afterwards. She uses the same cup over and over without washing it. I could go on and on but these are habits I cannot find excuses for. She is not anemic and she sees her doctors regularly. These are not new habits. I secretly call her the Queen of excuses and feel there is no point in asking her. Is this a type of mental illness?
Sounds like a type of dementia. Alzheimer’s in particular often causes people to not want to bathe. I’d suggest contacting your local Alzheimer’s Association for tips on how to deal with this., even if it is a different dementia.